through the eyes of a deviant

tongue like a diamond dagger

Category Archives: Chronicles of OKC

chronicles of okc: why i refuse to date gamers

As many of you know, whenever I see a man with a gaming console it’s one of the biggest turn offs for me. You may think it’s a bit hypocritical considering I’m also a gamer. However, the difference is that I have self control and I actually crave for human interaction – most of the guys that I’ve encountered who are gamers don’t have self control, are very dependent on video games when dealing with their problems, have dangerous addictions to gaming, and actually don’t care for much human interaction.

I’ve had two horrible experiences with gamers in the dating world. One I dated for a year and a half and that promptly ended when his inability to interact with other people that aren’t gamers made him more and more reclusive and eventually he decided that all he needed was video games. The second one I dated for a year; his mother and I were concerned about the gaming addiction he had developed since childhood. His father neglected him and his only consolation was gaming. Even to this day he’ll put gaming before friends and family, and his addiction and our effort to help him with it made him lash out, cheat on me, and then alienate most of his friends.

I find that gamers tend to lack the emotional and social maturity that I need in a man. *shrugs*

This, very simply, is why I don’t date gamers. Period. This is my preference and I have my right to it. There’s far more that goes into both of these situations but it’s too personal to talk about here, you’d have to go to my personal weblog for that.

While I don’t really use OKC anymore, I did have a disclaimer up there saying that I don’t date gamers. I didn’t elaborate, why should I have to? Just know if you spend hours with a controller in your hand you’re not the one for me, get over it.

Well this one boy couldn’t get over it, as you can see by our conversation.

Him: Bummer on the not dating gamers bit. I mean, really, who is to say that one person’s hobby is superior to another’s? That’d be like saying “I don’t date movie watchers” or “I don’t date book readers”.

I once read a profile of a girl who said “I won’t date a man who watches sports”; now I’m not particularly interested in sports… but really? Must be nice to be in a position to make such a demand.

(Sidenote: yes I am in that position to make that demand, and it is nice. As amazing of a person AND girlfriend I am to every single person I’ve dated, if you want to get this 10 you need to be a 10, it’s that damn simple. I demand what I want, and nothing less. )

Me: It’s not about putting one hobby over another, I’m just not interested in dating children.

Him: A bit presumptuous to assume that one’s hobby makes them a child, no? And really, who are you to say what constitutes an adult? I have a damn good career, I pay my bills on time, I have excellent credit, I live alone currently but have lived with 3 different women; oh, and I happen to enjoy a video game or two. Hey, if all of that is indicative of a child then sign me up. Thanks for playing.

Me: This little rant of yours proves your lack of maturity and displays all of your insecurities. No matter what you say, I don’t date gamers.

“Thanks for playing.”

Really? Did I ask for your attention? You came to ME, it’s about time you got over yourself. After losing a child and a marriage to a gaming addiction do you really fucking think I give two shits about your shit career, your credit score or your exes? Think fucking again cunt because I fucking don’t. And don’t think for one fucking second that you paying a bill or having a job all of a sudden makes you mature enough for me.

You’ve been dismissed.

Clearly he didn’t know who the fuck he was talking to. Piling on the reasons for why I don’t date gamers – emotional immaturity for the lose.

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chronicles of okc: black pride or arrogance?

Note: This is a rant, which means it’ll probably end up being longer than it was intended to be. You’ve been warned!

For those of you that know me (and my family) intimately enough you’ll know that my nationalities are a bit confusing, if not random. My father is a mix of mothers Russia and Japan. My mother is pure bred Nubian and I look almost exactly like her.

For those of you (and this is directed towards African Americans especially) that do not actually know what it means to be Nubian let me explain it to you. I see far too many Black people claiming to be “Nubian.” Unless you are part of, or descending from, a tribe of about eight families left in the actual region taking up Egypt and northern Sudan (aka Nubia) you are not Nubian.

I suppose I feel like how a New Yorker would feel if they saw someone wearing an “I love New York” t-shirt on a person that’s never even been – frustrated. Go love your own goddamn state, for fucks sake. Or in this case, your own damn nationality.

And just like that New Yorker, I do realize why people seem to think it’s cool to show such pride for something they have clearly no understanding of; Nubia is stereotyped to be attractive, far more than what it is; you always hear about “Nubian kings and queens.” What the fuck ever.

That’s not how it is now, the dynasty has LONG fallen. What’s so glamorous about us now? We’re virtually extinct!

Nonetheless I’m very proud of my heritage, ALL parts of my heritage. I have great respect for all three nations that run through my blood. Too often that’s just not acceptable to others, especially Black people.

It’s obvious that Egypt doesn’t fully identify with the African continent. The culture is far more congruent with that of the Middle East considering 98% of people in Egypt today are descendants of immigrants from the Middle East.

Whenever someone makes the comment that “Egyptians are Black” it’s a statement that’s not completely correct. It’s like calling a Sicilian, Italian; it’s like not knowing the difference between someone who is Eritrean and someone who is Ethiopian. In short they’re similar, but they are most certainly not the same.

From a foreigner’s point of view, I see Black as different than African American – the definition for a “Black” person widely varies depending on what country you look at and the historical influence. I personally define someone who is “African American” as someone who was born in Africa and then came to the states; a “Black” person is someone of African descent, but is already here. Make sense?

Sidenote: One of my friends decided that everything that’s evil in the world was within me based on my nationality lmao.

On OKC one of the questions they ask is your race. You get the option to “check all that apply.” I obviously checked Arab, Asian, and White. I decided to elaborate on it within the “About ME” (emphasis on ME) box, and include my nationalities. But like I said, I always see African Americans being more understanding of my nationalities and Black people just utterly hateful.

I get this message from this one douchebag that makes a comment about my nationalities that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

“Egyptian, Russian, and Japanese. And let’s not forget the most obvious but never the favored BLACK lol”

First of all you can’t just throw another race in there just because you feel like it, asshole. Second of all if you’re so insecure as to sit there and express that I should put “Black” in my profile because you feel as if I’m avoiding it then that’s YOUR problem.

Why the fuck would I put “Black” underneath my nationalities? Black ain’t no country I’ve ever heard of! I’m well aware that I look like a race that I’m not – MANY people do. Ask any Hispanic or Asian how many times their nationality has been mistaken for something else.

My response?

“I would call myself Black if that was what I was, but I’m of Arab/Nubian descent.”

Clearly this won’t fly by him, and he doesn’t take the hint.

“I know .. but it’s not on your mixology thingy so that’s why it caught my eye Nubian is missing…”

Now that you’ve all had a brief history lesson by me, you should be able to tell why I’m frustrated. Having Egypt as part of my nationality IS the Nubian part dip shit!

Me: “No, Nubian is not missing. I notice this trend around a lot of African Americans, calling themselves Nubian. Unless you are part of my tribe in Egypt and northern Sudan, which by the way is almost to the point of extinction, you are not Nubian. You are African American or Black.

Please educate yourself before trying to insinuate that I need some form of Black pride when you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.”

Him: “lol Just say Nubian and stop trying to be white .. cuz you’re not – that’s all .. silly”

Me: “How am I trying to be White? I’m part Russian, I’m not going to ignore my heritage just so you can try to claim me. You are so fucking stupid, it’s ridiculous. Typical Black male.”

I am saying the following to the African American / Black / Fake Nubian community:

Educate yourself before speaking.

I am ridiculously exhausted of being told I’m “trying to be White” just because I’m educated, I speak proper English, I don’t obsess over shitty rappers, nor act ghetto. By saying I’m trying to act White all you’re REALLY saying is that Black people can’t be ANY of those things, including educated and well spoken. Do you not realize how fucking stupid it makes yourself look?

And to really sit there and try to claim me for Team Negro? Fuck you, I don’t feel the need to define myself by the color of my skin. I am me, and will be referred to as such. So before you talk about shit you have absolutely NO FUCKING IDEA about in a failed attempt at Black pride, know who the fuck you’re talking to!

In saying that others are “trying to be White” you’re succumbing to the belief that White people are superior to you. It’s a bitchy cop out from fear of originality. Right now, you’re trying to say that I’m attempting to be … a fourth of what I already am???

ADURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

This boy is literally too stupid to talk to, he was blocked promptly because I have absolutely no tolerance for bull shit, especially ignorant bull shit.

If I date someone outside of my race, I’m a “cop out” and I’m “trying to be White” no matter what the race of my significant other is, unless he’s Hispanic.

Black people, I know you’re fucking mad because you feel you have to date within your race to be acceptable and that because of that you feel limited when people within your race don’t date other people that look like you. But I personally don’t give a shit.

I wasn’t brought up with that mindset and it irritates me to no end for people to make a big deal about ANYONE dating outside of their race. Does it make you uncomfortable? GOOD. Go chew on a dick to make yourself feel better!

There’s nothing biologically advantageous nor morally consistent about dating within your race; it literally makes no fucking difference except to racists. And I understand everyone will be attracted to people based on certain features that will predominantly be found in certain races, I GET THAT.

But that doesn’t give you the right to harass others for not being attracted to you, nor does it mean you should make your own life even harder by simply writing off an entire group of people without even giving them a look.

But if you want to limit yourself, that’s your issue, not mine.

So you can sit there and hate about me having friends, boyfriends, lovers, benefactors, sex slaves, and all around amazing people there for me that aren’t necessarily Black all you want; it’s your loss. And if you’re Black and you’re my friend I love you just the same as all my other friends, no more no less. So don’t bother asking for more just because of our similarities.

I don’t value my female friends more just because I have a vagina. I actually value them less. Just kidding. (Not really)

/end rant.

chronicles of okc: battling lesbians one vagina at a time

Sometimes on OKC I’ll get these females (bisexuals and lesbians alike) that feel it’s necessary to gawk at me and express just how “beautiful” I am. Don’t misunderstand, I do not at all take offense to people complimenting my appearance: but I do realize that in these situations they’re trying to hit on me and endless flattery isn’t the way to do it. Even a lion gets bored of others stroking his mane.

Some of them are very blunt and ask if I’m interested in having a threesome with them and their boyfriend. No, I am not interested in contracting any diseases you’ve already had the displeasure of sharing with one another, for the record. I think it’s about time people stopped asking me that.

And sometimes they’ll be genuinely curious about your personality and therefore try to pull the same manipulative tactics to try to determine who I am through short and ill thought out questions as they would do to a man if they were straight.

The following is the account of just such an occasion where a “real lesbian” (her phrase, not mine) decided to enter into a battle of the vagina minds. I already had an issue with her because she typed in all capital letters and had terrible grammar and spelling (which I will correct for the sake of literacy).

Side topic: There is absolutely no fucking reason for you to press Caps Lock before you have a conversation with someone. It’s absolutely idiotic and obnoxious to write in such a way and yes I will interpret as you being a loud person in general and I despise loud people.

The conversation started off as us talking about how I’m allergic to chocolate, caramel, and grass clippings. The typical ice breaking conversation ensued, a lot of “where are you from’s” and “what do you do’s” were passed. I learned that she’s fascinated with the fact that I’m virtually all alone in this state (all of my family is either out of state or out of the country) and that her parents passed away a long time ago and her plan is to move in with her sister.

Her fascination came by the fact that I’m an only child. And then she sprung this on me:

Lesbian: My best friend is an only child as well, and my daughter is gonna be an only child.

– Pause –

As someone who knows several gay couples with children I understand the concept that everyone can have kids, either through adoption or sperm donors. The more common option is adoption since sperm donors are so expensive, and since earlier in the conversation she mentioned that she was in between jobs I thought it would make sense to assume that adoption was the reason why this child was brought to be. But then she follows up with this tidbit of information:

Me: Was she adopted?

Lesbian: No. Do you have a problem with  lesbians having kids?

Me: Why would I have a problem with it? I just find it peculiar that you’re reproducing as a lesbian when a man’s presence would be required.

Lesbian: Well I don’t think that way! I have no interest in men but at the time I couldn’t afford a donor so I did it the old fashioned way! And I don’t regret it because I’m still a full all the way lesbian!

– Pause –

So right now she’s telling me that she’s a lesbian that takes dick. Not only that but she actually found someone willing to fuck her and give her a child at the risk of her turning around and claiming child support for a kid he didn’t even want.

Not to mention the fact that she’s got some over the top gay pride going on. She seems to be in denial of the fact that no one cares if she’s fitting into some designated label or not. I don’t care if she had sex with a dude whatsoever. It’s not like I’m about to mock her and call her a fraud. It looks like she’s trying to convince herself, not me.

She then asks me a bunch of random stuff about movies and hobbies before blurting out: “Hey are you more attracted in females or males, or is it equal?”

Let me explain something to my readers. I believe the female form is far more beautiful. It might be because I’m biased (being a female, and a narcissistic one at that) but I find my form to be far more attractive than that of a male’s. That being said, I have the hardest time relating to females and bonding with them. Most of my closest female friends aren’t really all that feminine. Hence why a vast majority of my friends are male and why I prefer to date males and never females.

In an attempt to explain this to her she decided that this logic was confusing to her. I didn’t understand how difficult of a concept that really was but I didn’t press it further. I don’t particularly care if she understands my line of thinking, after all.

Lesbian: So have you ever been intimate with a man?

Me: *flash backs of all the times spent with ex boyfriends* Yes.

Lesbian: Yeah girls in my opinion are better than most guys.

(No shit, you’re a lesbian. Kind of. One that takes dick.)

Lesbian: Have you ever been in a relationship with a woman?

Me: Yes, but I honestly can’t date most girls. They annoy me too much.

Lesbian: So you just sleep with them??

Me: Pretty much, despite how I can be pretty cold hearted to them. I found out recently a girl has fallen in love with me and wants to sleep with me but I refuse to do so because I don’t have any feelings towards her and it’s clear that she’ll want a relationship out of it. I don’t want to break her heart.

Lesbian: I can see how you’re cold hearted to women! Why don’t you just leave them alone instead of using them for sex?

Me: If I simply wanted to use someone for sex I’d blatantly ignore this girl’s feelings and have sex with her. You seem to have missed that point. Besides, every girl I’ve been with knew what she was doing and they are just as responsible. They can take care of themselves.

Lesbian: Well they must be crazy because if I’m a REAL LESBIAN I’m not going to have sex with a girl that wants nothing but sex, I just think their standards are very low.

Me: I won’t lie and say that every person I’ve been with is someone I genuinely wanted a relationship out of. However my standards are very high for dating as well as for intimacy.

Lesbian: You are no better than a man!!

Me: How so? Are we playing double standards? Is it all of a sudden just ok for a man to be able to enjoy meaningless sex but not okay for a woman? The girls I’ve been with aren’t some innocent victims! If I was as bad as you seem to be making me try to appear I would have already slept with this girl, wouldn’t I?

Lesbian: I never said you were a bad person I’m just defensive of lesbians over bisexuals and confused women, I don’t think we should court people like that because most times they get hurt. I never have that’s why I stick to nothing but real lesbians!!

Me: Being a lesbian all of a sudden doesn’t make you more capable of loving someone than a bisexual or a man, and it sure as hell doesn’t mean you’re gonna act differently than either of us. A lesbian can hurt you just as easily, a lesbian doesn’t have to all of a sudden care about your feelings either. It’s not that I don’t value relationships; if I didn’t I wouldn’t be on OKC to begin with. But I’m not gonna sit here and pretend like only certain types of people have the potential to hurt/disappoint me when it comes to relationships. I keep my standards high and my desires well in my sight to remind myself to never settle for anything less than what I deserve.

Lesbian: So is that why you just have sex with women?? So you don’t get hurt? Are you scared of getting hurt by a woman??

Me: I can’t get attached to a woman emotionally to begin with so it would be rather difficult for me to get hurt by them.

Lesbian: So you have no emotions when you have sex with them?? How do you do that??

Me: The only emotion present would be lust. I don’t necessarily have to love someone to have sex with them, I’m a human. That would be a ridiculous notion.

Lesbian: But you don’t seem to like them either, you only want to screw them! It has nothing to do with love!

Me: It’s not like I’m demeaning women by hating them and fucking them out of hatred and rage. Every girl I’ve slept with has been a friend of mine. It doesn’t mean I see them as useless sex objects it means I see them as people I’m sexually attracted to.

Lesbian: I don’t know, but like you said everybody has different ways of liking women. I really just thought you were treating them as sex objects and I was offended for a minute. I just really try to avoid women like you but you’re a very good person to talk to. Again not a bad person but I’m into girls on a whole ‘nother level than you can even imagine.

Me: Let me explain something to you. You have absolutely no clue who I am, what I’ve experienced nor what my expectations are. You have no clue how I treat others nor are you capable of comprehending the absolute HELL that I have been through when it comes to love. So before you start trying to place me on some fictional level you just made up, I highly suggest not judging me nor what I’m capable of.

She then went on to talk about how I judged her for having a child. For the record as long as she’s a good parent I don’t care how the child got there. But one shouldn’t sit there and tell others they’re a lesbian and then say that their child isn’t adopted nor from the sperm bank and HONESTLY EXPECT people to not have questions as to how they got there!

She said that it was the way I said it, that I don’t think lesbians should have children because they’re gay. I have no fucking clue whatsoever how she deduced that from asking the mere question of whether or not the kid was adopted. She’s clearly very insecure and has issues with herself.

And she really wonders why I (and many men) don’t feel like making a connection with women? They’re bat shit fucking insane that’s why!

She claims that she was being respectable towards me but I decided not to listen to her whatsoever. I had a guest coming over so I closed my laptop and ignored this cunt for the rest of the night.

Logging in the next day I find a message on OKC from her saying this:

Lesbian: You could have said “bye.” I still wanna be your friend and start over, but only if you want to. We have different view points and opinions and things got hasty and aggressive but you make the choice. Toodles.

I have no idea why but I immediately got even further annoyed when she used the word “toodles” like people just say shit like that anymore. Cunt. Either way I responded with this:

You seem to have some pent up hatred for men and bisexuals so I doubt that will work between us. You seem to think you’ve got everything figured out about love when you really haven’t a clue, nor do you seem to realize that you being a lesbian doesn’t put you above anyone else nor does it mean you’re more capable of loving women. You’re extremely judgmental and thrive on double standards between men and women and I personally can’t deal with people like that.

I think I can safely conclude that I hate all “real lesbians” now. Thanks for ruining your cause by annoying the FUCK out of me, bitch face.

chronicles of okc: smothered by seamen

I’m really starting to think that the people on OKC are absolutely insane. I’ve ultimately made my decision to attempt to delete my site, though I still have a lot of stories I have yet to share with you. This one in particular is absolutely batshit insane.

Our first date happened at the Inner Harbor in Baltimore. We shared a mediocre dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe (nothing against the cafe, I absolutely adore it – our food just wasn’t on point that day for some reason).

I should have realized something was up when at the end of the meal the waitress asked how the meal was and instead of the traditional bite of the tongue, he decided to actually tell her what he thought of the meal.

Let me explain something to you from the perspective of a former waitress at the Cheesecake Factory – if I ask you a question like that it’s merely a courtesy. It’s not that I don’t care, but unless it’s at the beginning of the meal that comment is of no consequence to me. I won’t be returning a full plate to the chef with a critique and I also won’t be making a mental note to tell the chef next time that this one particular customer didn’t like his steak that evening. The chef doesn’t give a shit, he’s not being paid off commission like we are!

Our date then continued to a walk on the boardwalk, chatting about random things. He actually had a decent sense of humor but some of the things he said stuck out to me.

“I’m 26, I’m at a point in my life where I don’t have time for games. I’m very mature and I don’t like it when people are immature. “

I don’t understand what his age has to do with it, especially now. Being 26 doesn’t mean you’re automatically more mature sweet heart. The fact that he had to sit there and claim his maturity is a problem for me, who is he trying to convince? I don’t listen to words honey, I only take a look at actions.

Because the movie was super late and our dinner ended sooner than expected, we decided to chill at his place for a little bit. He decided to pull some cheesy move like turning on the fireplace.

First of all there’s nothing romantic about a fiery glow flashing off of a trashy apartment. Second of all nothing is going to happen between us, so you might as well stop wasting gas now.

After talking for a while I learned a couple of things about him. He’s in the navy (hence the title) but he can’t swim. EXPLAIN THAT ONE TO ME. I also learned that his last girlfriend faked a pregnancy so he wouldn’t leave. Really? From what I can see so far the brotha’ isn’t that great.

Then he makes a fatal mistake – he asked if I liked to cook. First of all bitch, I don’t even cook for starving children, why the fuck would I cook for you? Second of all you’ve got two very capable hands. You’ve been cooking for yourself THIS damn long, why stop now? YOU should be the one cooking for ME, this is your damn house!

He then asked if he went to the store and bought some cookie dough if I’d bake him some cookies.

… Nigga you can’t read directions? It ain’t that damn hard! You can follow orders but you can’t put some cookie dough in 1 1/2 inch diameters, set them two inches apart, preheat oven to 400 degrees and place the pan in the oven for 8-9 minutes or until brown nigga?

He tries to kiss me, I fail to return said kiss. Clearly he’s trying to have sex with me by the way he’s moving around me and for some odd reason I was bursting with laughter on the inside.

I especially found it amusing when he was wearing a cross on his neck, really sticking to your faith there huh? I told him no, and he still tried. He’s turning into borderline rapist here. I told him that he better drive me back immediately, and he did.

The next day he apologized and I accepted the apology. That night he said he  missed me and asked if I wanted to see him. I told him that calling me at 2am is not a good look and that if he can’t call me during the proper hours then he needs to find another bitch to call.

It’s obvious what you want dipshit.

He got an attitude with me and I told him that it was simply over between us and that there’s no reason to call me. I don’t sit and deal with immature little boys claiming to be men.

This time no apology or anything. Typical.

A week later he messages me saying the same shit: “I miss you, do you wanna see me?” I reply with simply: “No.”

Then he, like so many other Black men tend to do these days (and it really fucking pisses me off) tries to play the victim and decides it’s the mature thing to do to send me 100+ text messages in an attempt to insult me. Mother fucker I have VERIZON. You have AT&T. Verizon doesn’t play that shit! Good thing you were dumb enough to leave your credit card information out in the open and it’s a damn good thing I’m great at remembering numbers because bitch, YOU are paying my phone bill!

Going through the usual rejection sequence:

“Bitch you’re crazy!!”

So I’m crazy because I rejected you? I think that makes me pretty sane.

“I don’t need you, you fucking whore!”

That’s good to know, because if you did you’d be crazily stalking me and writing me angry messages… oh wait.

“I get bitches before, during, and after you!”

So why are you so upset then? It doesn’t look like you do.

“And you wonder why your ex cheated on you!!”

No I don’t wonder why actually. I know why. Because he’s a dickless coward with daddy issues. Doesn’t have shit to do with me.

“Good luck finding somebody else!!”

*sings* to the left to the left… mmmm…You must not know ’bout meeeee you must not know ’bout meeee, I could have another YOU in a minute, and in fact he’ll be here in a minute… baybayyyy ❤

Then the text messages just keep coming with the same old shit until this one text message pops up: “Wow this is crazy, adults don’t say things like this. I wish you the best.”

What??? Did Captain Fail just attempt at trying to be the bigger person after cursing me out for the past 2 hours while I sat around saying pretty much nothing the entire time?? He then feels the need to repeat what he said as if all of a sudden that would make everything better?

The bitch is psychotic. I told him to go fuck himself in the ass with something sand-papery and covered in AIDS.

Not three days ago he decides to text me saying “Hi, how are you?”

 

… Really bro? That’s how you roll? You think that after another week rolls by that I’m just gonna forget all the shit you just said to me?

I didn’t respond to that text either. I decide to check my messages.

I check my e-mail(s), my Facebook, and finally OKC to see if any of the friends I’ve made left me a message. I click on “Visitors” and who do I see??

 

I didn’t bother to blur out his name: if any other OKC users see this person they need to know what’s up. THAT and you can heavily down rate him if you’re a member. 😉

I actually plan on getting a restraining order on him. It’s too unfortunate that he knows where I live, even if it is slightly difficult for him to find me within the building, I don’t take chances. That and he has that persona of a stalker. GOOD THING the police station is literally right outside my window.

Thanks Walker Ave Apts for making sure this tiny princess is uber safe. 🙂

That or I’ll just get my buddy Jesse to kick his ass. Martial Arts for the fucking win?

chronicles of okc: dominant white male for sale?

One in five relationships now start through dating websites, says match.com.

However there’s one key thing to note: match.com isn’t free. OKC just happens to be free, which means the true creepers lurk here. People who are serious about their love lives are willing to pay for sites like match.com. Personally I’m at a point where I’m not willing to pay for anything I can easily get for free.

Note: keep in mind that if I go on a date with you, it’s not necessarily because I’m just hungry and want free food; I might actually start to like you better on a full stomach.

This particular creeper made me laugh in his approach.

Him: You’ve got beautiful eyes.
Me: Baby, I know it.
Him: Are you open to dating dominant white men like me?

Pause

I want it to be known that race is never an issue with me (though I do often stereotype and therefore base sexual attraction on assumed penis size, sorry Asia). I’ve dated men of all flavors, but what annoys me is when men try to pull that “hehe I’m dominant” bull shit.

First of all who the fuck do you think you’re dominating? You’re a thirty five year old male nurse flirting pointlessly with a fiery, angry, twenty something year old Black chick – who the fuck do you think is wearing the pants in this situation?

Second of all, the very fact that you felt the need to mention that you’re White gives me the feeling that you’re particularly interested in African American women and therefore makes me suspicious that this attraction comes from some strange fetish associated with slavery. I’m not down for that shit!

Resume

Me: You seem to have gotten the wrong impression about me; NO ONE dominates me.
Him: Oh really? I like the confidence. So what do you do for fun? Where do you like to hang out?
Me: I don’t think you get it and I don’t know if coming at women of color and trying to assert your dominance is what gets your dick hard or if it’s worked in the past but I’m putting an end to that right now.  It’s very unattractive, insulting, and foolish and I’d rather end this conversation with you. Better luck next time?

Instead of allowing him to potentially throw racial slurs at me (like I expect him to, this always happens to me for some reason) I decided to do the blocking early.

Lesson – when it comes to personality, I’m the one in leather with the whip; not you.

And don’t you forget it.

chronicles of okc: it’s only the beginning

Recently a friend of mine decided to make me an OKC account. If you don’t know what that is, essentially it’s a dating site like every other one with the minor exception that it’s actually legitimately free.

It took some warming up to the idea, but it’s actually pretty interesting. I haven’t met anyone that I would really “date” but I’ve made a couple of interesting friends so I assume it’s not a total waste of time at the moment. But the people that do hit on me tend to either be really shy and intimidated, or total douchebags.

Hence why I’m starting my own Chronicles of OKC to catalog the differing levels of pure douchebaggery.  Maybe this will provide some insight to those that have hit on me (or wish to) into what works for me and what absolutely doesn’t.

I’ll start off this chapter with one of the first people that approached me through OKC. Check this conversation out and let me know what you think. (Keep in mind I’ve had to alter his spelling and grammar to be that of a normal human being who knows English).

~~~

Him: Hi there.
Me: How are you?
Him: I’m good. Spent most of my day playing Dr. Phil to my sis who’s havin man trouble. y’all women sure can talk : )

-Pause-

Was I really supposed to think that remark was cute? Charming? Amusing? First of all, I don’t fucking know you. So don’t come the fuck up to me and say essentially “Hi, you’re just like every other woman!” I should have fucked this joker up but he’s hiding safely behind the interwebs.

-Resume-

Me: Really? I find it’s men that seem to have the most to say. Here’s a tip: I wouldn’t start off a conversation with stereotyping my gender. 🙂 Better luck next time.
Him: Stereotyping men right back may not be the best way to lead me to the light there, charm-school. Anyway I just wanted to say “hi.” You kinda look like this girl I used to copy off of back in college ( I know also politically incorrect) but if you don’t want to talk let me know so I can prepare an OKC lawsuit for making our enemy percentage rating* obviously too low.

-Pause-

Dear Reader: You seriously have no idea how long it took to edit that paragraph he wrote from all the poor grammar and numerous spelling errors.

*Enemy percentage rating is calculated from questions you answer on the site and determine how badly your personalities clash. Apparently ours was only 9% so I think their algorithm is busted.

Yes, I am very attracted to guys that cheated their way through college. /sarcasm. Do your own damn work you lazy son of a bitch. And for the record if you compare a female with another female you know and say that’s the reason you’re interested you’re fucking retarded. No female wants to hear that she’s being categorized even further or even comparable to another female. I’m unique just like everyone else (lol). In a woman’s world we are supposed to stand out in your eyes, not blend in with your crowd of college drop outs. I’m not worried about me being the one you copied off of though, you’d never get into this school.

-Resume-

Me: I didn’t need a “charm school” to teach me better than to hit on women by saying they talk a lot. Not attractive. I’m sure the “better luck next time” part was your cue. 🙂
Him: That’s what I get for being one of the few guys that talk to the dark girl trying to show love. Oh well.

-Pause-

What the fuck? This boy is fucking ridiculous! The dark girl? What the fuck does that even mean? Do dark girls get hit on less? I know we as Black women tend to provide hierarchies within ourselves based on skin color and hair type but seriously? Being dark doesn’t make me fucking less adequate or more aggressive or really… more/less anything. In fact it’s fucking irrelevant.

In case you’re wondering, this is a Black guy hitting on me.

-Resume-

Me: My skin color is irrelevant to your failure, and you are not at all a rarity considering you don’t have the sense nor class to know when to simply take your rejection with a grain of salt. If this is how you “show love,” by starting off by “hello, by the way you women are all the same and a burden,” then I’m glad I recognized how incompatible we are this early. 🙂 Peace.

What I really wanted to say was “shut the fuck up, bitch ass knee-grow blowing up my inbox with some dumb ass shieeeeeeeeeeeeeet,” but I had to keep my composure. I can’t bring myself to that level though the ghetto in me does kind of slip out sometimes. 😉

Lesson – never talk to me as if you can classify me. And definitely don’t mistake this lioness for a house kitten…

… or I’ll fuck you up. 🙂

Good night kids, have a great weekend. Oh! And don’t forget to preorder your tickets to see Harry Potter’s new movie!!