through the eyes of a deviant

tongue like a diamond dagger

chronicles of okc: black pride or arrogance?

Note: This is a rant, which means it’ll probably end up being longer than it was intended to be. You’ve been warned!

For those of you that know me (and my family) intimately enough you’ll know that my nationalities are a bit confusing, if not random. My father is a mix of mothers Russia and Japan. My mother is pure bred Nubian and I look almost exactly like her.

For those of you (and this is directed towards African Americans especially) that do not actually know what it means to be Nubian let me explain it to you. I see far too many Black people claiming to be “Nubian.” Unless you are part of, or descending from, a tribe of about eight families left in the actual region taking up Egypt and northern Sudan (aka Nubia) you are not Nubian.

I suppose I feel like how a New Yorker would feel if they saw someone wearing an “I love New York” t-shirt on a person that’s never even been – frustrated. Go love your own goddamn state, for fucks sake. Or in this case, your own damn nationality.

And just like that New Yorker, I do realize why people seem to think it’s cool to show such pride for something they have clearly no understanding of; Nubia is stereotyped to be attractive, far more than what it is; you always hear about “Nubian kings and queens.” What the fuck ever.

That’s not how it is now, the dynasty has LONG fallen. What’s so glamorous about us now? We’re virtually extinct!

Nonetheless I’m very proud of my heritage, ALL parts of my heritage. I have great respect for all three nations that run through my blood. Too often that’s just not acceptable to others, especially Black people.

It’s obvious that Egypt doesn’t fully identify with the African continent. The culture is far more congruent with that of the Middle East considering 98% of people in Egypt today are descendants of immigrants from the Middle East.

Whenever someone makes the comment that “Egyptians are Black” it’s a statement that’s not completely correct. It’s like calling a Sicilian, Italian; it’s like not knowing the difference between someone who is Eritrean and someone who is Ethiopian. In short they’re similar, but they are most certainly not the same.

From a foreigner’s point of view, I see Black as different than African American – the definition for a “Black” person widely varies depending on what country you look at and the historical influence. I personally define someone who is “African American” as someone who was born in Africa and then came to the states; a “Black” person is someone of African descent, but is already here. Make sense?

Sidenote: One of my friends decided that everything that’s evil in the world was within me based on my nationality lmao.

On OKC one of the questions they ask is your race. You get the option to “check all that apply.” I obviously checked Arab, Asian, and White. I decided to elaborate on it within the “About ME” (emphasis on ME) box, and include my nationalities. But like I said, I always see African Americans being more understanding of my nationalities and Black people just utterly hateful.

I get this message from this one douchebag that makes a comment about my nationalities that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

“Egyptian, Russian, and Japanese. And let’s not forget the most obvious but never the favored BLACK lol”

First of all you can’t just throw another race in there just because you feel like it, asshole. Second of all if you’re so insecure as to sit there and express that I should put “Black” in my profile because you feel as if I’m avoiding it then that’s YOUR problem.

Why the fuck would I put “Black” underneath my nationalities? Black ain’t no country I’ve ever heard of! I’m well aware that I look like a race that I’m not – MANY people do. Ask any Hispanic or Asian how many times their nationality has been mistaken for something else.

My response?

“I would call myself Black if that was what I was, but I’m of Arab/Nubian descent.”

Clearly this won’t fly by him, and he doesn’t take the hint.

“I know .. but it’s not on your mixology thingy so that’s why it caught my eye Nubian is missing…”

Now that you’ve all had a brief history lesson by me, you should be able to tell why I’m frustrated. Having Egypt as part of my nationality IS the Nubian part dip shit!

Me: “No, Nubian is not missing. I notice this trend around a lot of African Americans, calling themselves Nubian. Unless you are part of my tribe in Egypt and northern Sudan, which by the way is almost to the point of extinction, you are not Nubian. You are African American or Black.

Please educate yourself before trying to insinuate that I need some form of Black pride when you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.”

Him: “lol Just say Nubian and stop trying to be white .. cuz you’re not – that’s all .. silly”

Me: “How am I trying to be White? I’m part Russian, I’m not going to ignore my heritage just so you can try to claim me. You are so fucking stupid, it’s ridiculous. Typical Black male.”

I am saying the following to the African American / Black / Fake Nubian community:

Educate yourself before speaking.

I am ridiculously exhausted of being told I’m “trying to be White” just because I’m educated, I speak proper English, I don’t obsess over shitty rappers, nor act ghetto. By saying I’m trying to act White all you’re REALLY saying is that Black people can’t be ANY of those things, including educated and well spoken. Do you not realize how fucking stupid it makes yourself look?

And to really sit there and try to claim me for Team Negro? Fuck you, I don’t feel the need to define myself by the color of my skin. I am me, and will be referred to as such. So before you talk about shit you have absolutely NO FUCKING IDEA about in a failed attempt at Black pride, know who the fuck you’re talking to!

In saying that others are “trying to be White” you’re succumbing to the belief that White people are superior to you. It’s a bitchy cop out from fear of originality. Right now, you’re trying to say that I’m attempting to be … a fourth of what I already am???


This boy is literally too stupid to talk to, he was blocked promptly because I have absolutely no tolerance for bull shit, especially ignorant bull shit.

If I date someone outside of my race, I’m a “cop out” and I’m “trying to be White” no matter what the race of my significant other is, unless he’s Hispanic.

Black people, I know you’re fucking mad because you feel you have to date within your race to be acceptable and that because of that you feel limited when people within your race don’t date other people that look like you. But I personally don’t give a shit.

I wasn’t brought up with that mindset and it irritates me to no end for people to make a big deal about ANYONE dating outside of their race. Does it make you uncomfortable? GOOD. Go chew on a dick to make yourself feel better!

There’s nothing biologically advantageous nor morally consistent about dating within your race; it literally makes no fucking difference except to racists. And I understand everyone will be attracted to people based on certain features that will predominantly be found in certain races, I GET THAT.

But that doesn’t give you the right to harass others for not being attracted to you, nor does it mean you should make your own life even harder by simply writing off an entire group of people without even giving them a look.

But if you want to limit yourself, that’s your issue, not mine.

So you can sit there and hate about me having friends, boyfriends, lovers, benefactors, sex slaves, and all around amazing people there for me that aren’t necessarily Black all you want; it’s your loss. And if you’re Black and you’re my friend I love you just the same as all my other friends, no more no less. So don’t bother asking for more just because of our similarities.

I don’t value my female friends more just because I have a vagina. I actually value them less. Just kidding. (Not really)

/end rant.


8 responses to “chronicles of okc: black pride or arrogance?

  1. Andrew Pelt August 25, 2011 at 4:14 pm

    I do enjoy the manner in which you have framed this particular problem and it does indeed offer me personally some fodder for thought. Nevertheless, through what I have observed, I basically wish when the opinions pile on that people stay on issue and not start upon a tirade involving the news of the day. Yet, thank you for this fantastic point and even though I can not go along with it in totality, I regard your viewpoint.

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