through the eyes of a deviant

tongue like a diamond dagger

chronicles of okc: smothered by seamen

I’m really starting to think that the people on OKC are absolutely insane. I’ve ultimately made my decision to attempt to delete my site, though I still have a lot of stories I have yet to share with you. This one in particular is absolutely batshit insane.

Our first date happened at the Inner Harbor in Baltimore. We shared a mediocre dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe (nothing against the cafe, I absolutely adore it – our food just wasn’t on point that day for some reason).

I should have realized something was up when at the end of the meal the waitress asked how the meal was and instead of the traditional bite of the tongue, he decided to actually tell her what he thought of the meal.

Let me explain something to you from the perspective of a former waitress at the Cheesecake Factory – if I ask you a question like that it’s merely a courtesy. It’s not that I don’t care, but unless it’s at the beginning of the meal that comment is of no consequence to me. I won’t be returning a full plate to the chef with a critique and I also won’t be making a mental note to tell the chef next time that this one particular customer didn’t like his steak that evening. The chef doesn’t give a shit, he’s not being paid off commission like we are!

Our date then continued to a walk on the boardwalk, chatting about random things. He actually had a decent sense of humor but some of the things he said stuck out to me.

“I’m 26, I’m at a point in my life where I don’t have time for games. I’m very mature and I don’t like it when people are immature. “

I don’t understand what his age has to do with it, especially now. Being 26 doesn’t mean you’re automatically more mature sweet heart. The fact that he had to sit there and claim his maturity is a problem for me, who is he trying to convince? I don’t listen to words honey, I only take a look at actions.

Because the movie was super late and our dinner ended sooner than expected, we decided to chill at his place for a little bit. He decided to pull some cheesy move like turning on the fireplace.

First of all there’s nothing romantic about a fiery glow flashing off of a trashy apartment. Second of all nothing is going to happen between us, so you might as well stop wasting gas now.

After talking for a while I learned a couple of things about him. He’s in the navy (hence the title) but he can’t swim. EXPLAIN THAT ONE TO ME. I also learned that his last girlfriend faked a pregnancy so he wouldn’t leave. Really? From what I can see so far the brotha’ isn’t that great.

Then he makes a fatal mistake – he asked if I liked to cook. First of all bitch, I don’t even cook for starving children, why the fuck would I cook for you? Second of all you’ve got two very capable hands. You’ve been cooking for yourself THIS damn long, why stop now? YOU should be the one cooking for ME, this is your damn house!

He then asked if he went to the store and bought some cookie dough if I’d bake him some cookies.

… Nigga you can’t read directions? It ain’t that damn hard! You can follow orders but you can’t put some cookie dough in 1 1/2 inch diameters, set them two inches apart, preheat oven to 400 degrees and place the pan in the oven for 8-9 minutes or until brown nigga?

He tries to kiss me, I fail to return said kiss. Clearly he’s trying to have sex with me by the way he’s moving around me and for some odd reason I was bursting with laughter on the inside.

I especially found it amusing when he was wearing a cross on his neck, really sticking to your faith there huh? I told him no, and he still tried. He’s turning into borderline rapist here. I told him that he better drive me back immediately, and he did.

The next day he apologized and I accepted the apology. That night he said he  missed me and asked if I wanted to see him. I told him that calling me at 2am is not a good look and that if he can’t call me during the proper hours then he needs to find another bitch to call.

It’s obvious what you want dipshit.

He got an attitude with me and I told him that it was simply over between us and that there’s no reason to call me. I don’t sit and deal with immature little boys claiming to be men.

This time no apology or anything. Typical.

A week later he messages me saying the same shit: “I miss you, do you wanna see me?” I reply with simply: “No.”

Then he, like so many other Black men tend to do these days (and it really fucking pisses me off) tries to play the victim and decides it’s the mature thing to do to send me 100+ text messages in an attempt to insult me. Mother fucker I have VERIZON. You have AT&T. Verizon doesn’t play that shit! Good thing you were dumb enough to leave your credit card information out in the open and it’s a damn good thing I’m great at remembering numbers because bitch, YOU are paying my phone bill!

Going through the usual rejection sequence:

“Bitch you’re crazy!!”

So I’m crazy because I rejected you? I think that makes me pretty sane.

“I don’t need you, you fucking whore!”

That’s good to know, because if you did you’d be crazily stalking me and writing me angry messages… oh wait.

“I get bitches before, during, and after you!”

So why are you so upset then? It doesn’t look like you do.

“And you wonder why your ex cheated on you!!”

No I don’t wonder why actually. I know why. Because he’s a dickless coward with daddy issues. Doesn’t have shit to do with me.

“Good luck finding somebody else!!”

*sings* to the left to the left… mmmm…You must not know ’bout meeeee you must not know ’bout meeee, I could have another YOU in a minute, and in fact he’ll be here in a minute… baybayyyy ❤

Then the text messages just keep coming with the same old shit until this one text message pops up: “Wow this is crazy, adults don’t say things like this. I wish you the best.”

What??? Did Captain Fail just attempt at trying to be the bigger person after cursing me out for the past 2 hours while I sat around saying pretty much nothing the entire time?? He then feels the need to repeat what he said as if all of a sudden that would make everything better?

The bitch is psychotic. I told him to go fuck himself in the ass with something sand-papery and covered in AIDS.

Not three days ago he decides to text me saying “Hi, how are you?”


… Really bro? That’s how you roll? You think that after another week rolls by that I’m just gonna forget all the shit you just said to me?

I didn’t respond to that text either. I decide to check my messages.

I check my e-mail(s), my Facebook, and finally OKC to see if any of the friends I’ve made left me a message. I click on “Visitors” and who do I see??


I didn’t bother to blur out his name: if any other OKC users see this person they need to know what’s up. THAT and you can heavily down rate him if you’re a member. 😉

I actually plan on getting a restraining order on him. It’s too unfortunate that he knows where I live, even if it is slightly difficult for him to find me within the building, I don’t take chances. That and he has that persona of a stalker. GOOD THING the police station is literally right outside my window.

Thanks Walker Ave Apts for making sure this tiny princess is uber safe. 🙂

That or I’ll just get my buddy Jesse to kick his ass. Martial Arts for the fucking win?


Where to Blog?

For the past 10 or so years I’ve been a blogger. I’ve moved and experienced various blogging platforms and I must say it’s very difficult to decide where a person should blog. A couple of people have asked me for advice on what platforms to use so I decided to do a brief entry on the different platforms I’ve experienced.


When I first started blogging Xanga was at the peak of its popularity. My generation was probably the most active generation on Xanga and now that we’ve all moved on with our lives no one honestly gives two shits about Xanga. It used to be a place where people (read emos) wrote about their shit lives, brief moments of happiness, and reblogged over the same entry with every update to accumulate the number of comments they’ve received in a weak attempt to look popular. Web design for the site was at its most prominent and people genuinely wrote for themselves and not for the approval of others. Oh how things have changed!

The Xanga community nowadays has pulled a complete 180. Xanga has split up into several sister sites that focus on special topics, such as Lovelyish for fashion (read Cosmo reading bimbo) bloggers, Revelife for the more spiritual (read uber Christian zealot) bloggers, and Mancouch, a blog site focused on straight men (read women trying to act like men for approval) and their stereotypical ways (aka shortcomings).

Most of the bloggers on Xanga are very representative of the American population – far below the average human intelligence level, yet desperately flaunting such ignorance for approval. To gain popularity in the Xanga world is to never blog for yourself; you must always blog for the sake of being controversial and riling emotions out of other bloggers. In the Xanga population this is very easy to do, as whenever just the slightest bit of drama arises the entire blogging community will feel it’s their duty to blog about it and put in their two cents.

As for customization of blogs, those with web design experience have long left. Hence the “themes” section of Xanga, where poorly made designs with pixelated images reign supreme. I’d say about 90% of the web layouts that people use/have on Xanga are equivalent to horse shit set on fire with a blow torch; they’re eye sores and they smell funny. For someone with web designing experience they could go to Premium sections of the site where placing their own HTML code is as simple as Blogger‘s template page, but for a price. In order to get the most out of this (highly useless and life killing) site you’ll need to pay the premiums.

I suppose if you plan on being a troll or you simply want attention, Xanga is the place to be.

– Livejournal –

Livejournal used to be the place to be for people who ran various types of communities – web design, graphic design, emotional support, etc. Livejournal’s set up is rather confusing and disorganized. In order to do half the things you’d like to do you’d have to go through a labyrinth of links to get to where you need to be. If Livejournal could clean up their set up it would make for a great blogging community if it weren’t for one thing…

The community is dead! No one uses Livejournal anymore unless they’re really desperate to keep their blog hidden from their friends and family. Most of the community forums haven’t been updated in years, not that there’s that many to choose from to begin with either. I wouldn’t recommend Livejournal for anyone who is just starting to enter the blogging scene, or really anyone for that matter.

– Blogger –

Powered by Google, so if you have a g-mail account you automatically have a Blogger account as well. Simply go to and type in your e-mail address and password to see your dashboard.

Over the years Blogger has been dominated by foreign bloggers, and fewer and fewer American bloggers are turning to the platform to blog. Unlike Xanga and Livejournal, customization is very easy and straightforward. Sure, there are some quirks with the site here and there but all technicalities aside it’s a very good platform. The idea of a “community” is rather taboo however. Most people you’ll encounter on Blogger are people you’ve already known in real life and they told you OR through a site that has something to do with some aspect of blogging and people simply use it to network, such as; an American based site focused on (shitty and repetitive) web design. 99% of the contributers on the site are 13 year old Singaporeans. That should say something to you.

While having the e-mail/blog bundle is extremely convenient, Blogger makes it very difficult to network. Several famous bloggers such as Xiaxue have used this platform as the basis for their fame, but even most of them started off simply blogging for themselves and fellow classmates during grade school. A lot of them have even expressed regret for starting off on Blogger, and would rather have used platforms such as our next one.

– WordPress –

WordPress is a far more professional blogging platform. It’s very clean cut and easy to communicate with people with similar interests and blog topics. The only problem I see so far is that by itself it lacks a sense of style. Customization of one’s blog is a painful process with WordPress. However if you’re willing to put in the work for a website and simply use WordPress to power it, then WordPress is the place for you.


If you own a Mac more likely than not you own a Tumblr. The great thing about Tumblr (like Blogger and WordPress) is that changing your url is quite simple. Other sites like Xanga often make you pay to change your url, or contribute a certain amount of time in the community before allowing you to do so. If you’re interested in simply looking at tons and tons of reblogged posts/images all the while making no real connection with anyone else on the site, then Tumblr is the place to be. Serious bloggers don’t blog on Tumblr, they just go to Tumblr for fun.

However Tumblr is becoming so popular amongst the mindless that it’s often experiencing down time, something not at all good for the popular blogging site. However the entire point of the site is to be able to quickly share ideas, and no other site does this better than Tumblr.

– Twitter –

Everyone on the damn planet has a Twitter. You can pretty much follow anyone you can think of on the website and pretend like you’re cool enough to have a conversation with every celebrity you find on the site by @ messaging them. 9 times out of 10 they don’t even see your tweet; either they ignore all their @ messages or it’s actually their agent that’s managing their twitter. Yes, this is your cue to run to your designated corner and cry in the fetal position.

While Twitter has its ups and downs (referring to their server here), it has proven to be quite useful amongst businesses and common people alike. I admit, I don’t tweet as often as others do – I am too busy doing other things to have Twitter glued to me at all times, I don’t even have a Twitter app on my phone! But it’s a great way to get people to find you based on similar interests, as well as give brief information on various things in a quick and efficient manner. People can even receive your messages through the phone if they so choose to.

In the blogging world I would advise others to use Twitter as a means to advertise themselves; what they do, who they have networked with, and when they’ve updated their blogs. Twitter is a great compliment to any other blogging site.


If you know of any other blogging site that you feel should be mentioned don’t hesitate to let me know. I’m on Tumblr right now and I keep constantly getting this page:



It truly almost made me want to move back to Blogger.

an unusual critic cont’d – disc two

And now we’re on to disc two and the final entry of the infamous three part blog series. If you didn’t read the first two you can find them here and here.

So this fool starts off the second disc by talking about Dementors. For those that don’t know, in the Harry Potter series these are beings in dark cloaks whose sole purpose is to suck the happiness out of your life (literally) through your dick mouth, and eventually your soul. *cue lightning flash*

Anyway she seems to be insinuating that through reading about the concept of a Dementor children will have a greater desire to kill themselves.

I’m gonna let you absorb that notion for a second.

Ok. WHAT!??

Clearly even if kids were dumb enough to think that these beings exist in real life she must have missed the part where one could easily protect themselves using the Patronus charm. But then again she’d argue that witchcraft in any form is evil even when trying to protect yourself. She’s like the muggle form of this:

(True HP fans would know who this is and why I say that.)

“Eleven people around me have died from suicide… by their own hands.”

Yeah I don’t know why that last part needed to be added. That’s the definition of suicide ass clown. You can’t get someone else to commit suicide for you, last I checked. Correct me if I’m wrong.

“Back in my mother’s day, movies were made so that the good guy always won. Nowadays it’s ok for the bad guy to win and walk away.”

Spoiler Alert: Voldemort dies. Absolutely no walking involved.
Clearly she didn’t read the books or else she would have known that the ending consists of Voldemort getting his ass handed to him, the Death Eaters disappearing, Harry fucking Ron’s sister while Ron gets it on with Hermione, etc, etc.  The moral cliche of “good” defeating “evil” is still there, it just took J.K. Rowling seven goddamn (delightful) books to do it.

“There’s this new thing called Paganism.”

That’s not new honey. The commercialization of Paganism might be a more recent trend (and even then not at all that recent when you think about it) but the religious aspects behind it aren’t at all new.

“I don’t like Disney, it’s too wild now but look at even old Disney when I was a kid, where the witch would die and got burnt and they weren’t defeated by another source of power but by someone righteous.”

Yeah and things like Coal Black were also acceptable.

She then goes on to say that kids nowadays are desensitized to crime, sex, and profanity because of our media. I personally don’t consider that a bad thing. Not to say that you should be letting your 10 year old watch porn and bad movies (or even just the news these days) but I don’t see her point in bringing it up when that’s completely irrelevant (once again) to Harry Potter.

“Things like The Hobbit causes curiosities and cravings that are easily satisfied by darker real world attractions.”

That’s funny because when I read The Hobbit I didn’t have a desire to go into witchcraft since that was such a minor theme in the entire plot (hint Carol, read before you speak). And in reading the six book series of The Lord of the Rings I didn’t find myself having the urge to get my ass kicked by an old wizard, nor walk thousands of miles to drop my bling into a volcano, all the while relying on some bony, psychotic freak with two personalities sporting a nasty ass loin cloth.

So if you want to say that things like The Lord of the Rings cause kids to have the urge to go into the occult then you’ve clearly missed the theme of the book series and you’ve also underestimated the competence level of children. By the time someone is at the appropriate reading level to even read the Lord of the Rings they’re closer to adulthood anyway!

“People say that kids know that it’s just a book, and they know better than to take it seriously. But do they? The author said she’s never had a kid come up to her that’s read her books that said they wanted to become a witch, but I know there are tons of kids that are so enamored with Harry Potter that they DO want to learn witch craft and wish it were a reality for them.”

First of all, where are you finding these kids and why are you talking to them without their parents present? Second of all you’re clearly misunderstanding any kid that says they wish Harry Potter was real. Let me explain what’s actually going on in their minds.



Naturally they’ll want to day dream about having a more interesting life, why do you think the Sims game was even invented? Everyone likes to think about things they’d rather be doing! If I had to choose between seeing my ugly old professors and learning nothing or seeing their ugly old professors and learning the history of werewolves which one do you really think I’d pick? It’s not because I have a desire to go to Hogwarts and become a witch (aka go to Universal Studios and spend all my money at the HP gift shop); it’s because I have a desire to not have a boring ass life.

She then goes on to talk about ouija (pronounces weegee) boards for about 10 minutes, boring the hell out of me and wishing I had pulled a ‘Reducto’ on this bitch’s face.

“The devil is smart. The Christian realm had to be invaded and it had to be invaded in such a way that appeared innocent through entertainment. I’m not saying J.R. Rowlings is the devil I’m just saying he’s brought into this Christian world the very thing that God has warned us against.”

Can you spot all the things wrong with this statement? I can!

  1. Once again got the author’s name wrong.
  2. Now the bitch has even gotten the author’s GENDER incorrect.
  3. She’s accusing the author essentially of helping Satan out because Satan totally needed these books to get to the minds of children. It’s not like he has powers or anything. /sarcasm.
  4. THIS IS NOT A CHRISTIAN WORLD. This a world with a lot of obnoxious Christians IN IT such as yourself, but believe it or not whore there are other religions that tend to bring about more SANE people. (Buddhism for the mother fucking WIN).

“There are muggles, mindless beings that don’t believe in magic. You can put me on that list.”

Putting Carol on the list of mindless beings. Check.

“They make Harry look like Christ by letting him live when others died.”

Isn’t that the reverse of what Christ did? *Sidenote: If you want to a What Would Harry Do bracelet call me.

She then proceeds to do what she’s great at: deviating to subjects that have absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand. For the rest of Disc two she discusses the following:

  • The show Bewitched
  • Dungeons and Dragons
  • 9/11
  • Contaminated water
  • Sex education and the known 218 STD’s
  • Expansion of Paganism
  • Suicide epidemic
  • Rape and pedophilia
  • Why FOX news is her favorite channel (not surprised)

And that’s when I woke up and wiped the drool off my laptop.

Throughout the three entries in writing about this I haven’t bothered to exaggerate anything she’s said. There have been people (fans of hers obviously) that have messaged me saying that I didn’t interpret what she said correctly.

I can interpret it however my mind so chooses to interpret it, and because these are direct quotes there aren’t really that many ways I can interpret it and present that information to my readers now can I??

The woman is crazy and ignorant. I wouldn’t need to do much other than quote the things she’s said for people to realize it. I don’t know if these other people actually have this CD but I’m willing to let anyone listen to it if they so choose to. I warn you though, it’s straight intellectual torture.

Lesson: actually listen to what people have to say before you start dick riding.

an unusual critic cont’d – disc one

If you remember from this entry a woman named Carol Kornacki has a thing against the Harry Potter series, and therefore sent me a two disc recording of her views on it. I’ve only listened to the first one as of yet and while this one gave me a brain hemorrhage just big enough to make me want to punch a baby, I’ll listen to the second one and also post my review.

While listening I took notes on some of the things she’s said. Often times I had to stop the CD to run to the nearest wall to bash my head into it. I honestly don’t think this woman has any idea what she’s talking about. I told this to my roommate (who gave her so much credibility) and she didn’t have much to say. Honestly after listening to what she said you can’t really refute the fact that this woman is a complete moron.

“I’m not here to attack J.R. Rowlings.”

Who the fuck is J.R. Rowlings? I’m pretty sure the author of the book is named J.K. Rowling, idiot. If you’re gonna sit here and talk about a book series you probably didn’t even read at least get the author’s goddamn name right!

“It’s not the books necessarily it’s the things attached to the books. I’m really talking to Christians.”

I waited for a while on this CD for her to actually talk about “things attached to the books” because I had no idea what she was talking about but of course it’s obvious she’s only talking about the people who feel Harry Potter could be a concern for their children. Other parents are actually happy that kids nowadays still find the desire to READ.

At this point in the CD she starts rambling on about what was written about in the previous entry (see link at top), and about the screen director’s need for the cast to say their lines accurate. She also talks about how she grew up in a violent, abusive, and alcoholic family which pushed her to learn about “Eastern religions” involving witchcraft. It’s also interesting to note that she first had the impression that Christians were crazy, as if it’s not all based on supernatural occurrences??

Jesus Christ is interesting. when people curse they don’t say ‘Oh Buddha!’ they say ‘Oh Jesus Christ!’. Our calendar/ number system is based from his birthday. America was built on Christian principles.”

First of all since when was cursing interesting? If someone is cursing in his name isn’t that blasphemous? I have nothing to say about the whole calendar bit either since it’s also quite irrelevant. But one of the things that pisses me off beyond all belief are the Bible thumpers that think America was built on Christian principles. IT WASN’T. That doesn’t even make sense!

Not only did our founding fathers vary in religion amongst themselves, a majority of them stuck to tenets from free masonry rather than those of Christianity. For those that can read you’ll notice how the word ‘God’ is nowhere in the Constitution. Excuse the bias so early in but this woman is a goddamn fool.

She also goes on to say that the Bible specifically says that we aren’t to concern ourselves with witchcraft and that reading Harry Potter at all is going against the Bible. Well the Bible says a lot of things that would therefore cut out half of our literary classics, does that mean we should just stop reading??

I’m just happy to know that Americans are still semi-literate enough to know about Harry Potter and to have read the series! I don’t think the Bible should be the only book anyone ever picks up!

Not to mention it’s a damn children’s book, lighten the fuck up! I don’t think you’re going to Hell just because you read a book. It doesn’t mean you’re dabbling in witchcraft no more than reading Twilight means you’ve become suddenly become a sparkling vampire with emotional problems.

“Harry is upset he’s with his horrible aunt and uncle and doesn’t know what to do. Why didn’t he go to Christ?” (referencing the plot of the first book, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone)

Because quite honestly no one would read it if it had to do with Jesus straight up. People read the Chronicles of Narnia because the biblical theme was hidden underneath something entertaining. Harry coming to Christ would all of a sudden make this boring, not to mention it was J.K.’s idea and she can do whatever the hell she wants! Why does every piece of literature regarding hardship have to revolve around Jesus? Show some fucking tolerance woman!

And to be real for a second, I’d much rather get a literal escape from that type of situation portrayed in the book than a figurative or spiritual escape. I’m not gonna have Harry suffer through mesothelioma from staying in that damn closet all his life, inhaling asbestos and getting bitched out everyday, and try to call that entertainment. If he went to Christ what then would be the plot???


“Now I’m being told it’s okay for kids to learn the dark deep secrets of witchcraft that took me 6 years to master.”

So what secrets about witchcraft are being taught through the Harry Potter books? Especially when the author said she doesn’t even believe in witchcraft? And if you notice, pretty much all the spells are just variations of Latin translations for what they do, it didn’t take that much effort to come up with what they should be called: reading Harry Potter to me is more like mastering Latin, not witchcraft.

I don’t know about you but I haven’t heard of any kids that grew up with the books (keep in mind if they did they would be my age now) that as a result went out and started doing real witchcraft. Nobody is conjuring up spells and summoning demons. Shut the hell up.

“What power causes kids to read HUNDREDS OF PAGES of Harry Potter, a book filled with witchcraft, but they can’t take ten minutes to read the Bible??”

“There were people that camped all night waiting to get into a bookstore to get these books when they were first coming out.”

First of all if you feel the need to comment on how many pages there are, that’s a shame. That’s not a lot of pages at all actually. And that power you’re talking about isn’t sorcery, it’s called great writing style. Most kids don’t want to sit there and read the Bible because let’s be honest; being told all the reasons why you’ll be condemned to Hell with stories attached to them is not attractive in a literary sense – it’s boring as hell. Kids barely want to read as it is, the only thing that’ll get them to read is something interesting!

“J.R. Rowlings (getting the name WRONG again) said she doesn’t even believe in witchcraft. She said she just made it up and it’s not real witchcraft. Well I’m an ex witch so I can say yes it is.”

No, you’re a jackass trying to pull rank when you’re clearly illiterate and have no idea that the Latin language even exists nor the name of the person that wrote the damn books.

“Have they talked to the people whose kids have played dungeons and dragons and may have taken their lives or the life of someone else?”

WAIT. WHAT? WHO THE… *stroke* How is that relevant first of all, and second of all do you not see a fucking epidemic in teen suicide in the LGBT community from Bible thumpers harassing them?!?!? That’s fucking ignorant and insulting that she would blatantly write that off! This bitch needs to get the FUCK out of here!!

“Reading about things like Harry Potter has made learning about Christ boring and unimportant to kids now.”

It was boring and unimportant long before Harry Potter, I think you’re just jealous. What’s wrong with reading? Something tells me she’s the book burning type.

“In Harry Potter they divide up wizards; good wizards and bad wizards. I can’t find such a thing as a good wizard in the Bible.”

And you think these books are based on the Bible because? Oh right because you can’t see past the one damn book you give any time of day to, that a book HAS to mention God in good light to get your approval; if it isn’t mentioned at all you’re automatically against it. In short, you’re moronic and illiterate!

According to this woman you might as well not read things like Animal Farm or Bram Stoker’s Dracula considering it was never mentioned in the Bible about your farm animals becoming organized amongst themselves or vampires correct?

“People will really defend Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. Defend who C.S. Lewis was because the Lord of the Rings movies were a bit more gory than he intended them to be and the message was distorted a little bit.”

First of all C.S. Lewis did NOT write the Lord of the Rings; that was his friend J.R.R. Tolkien you illiterate cunt. C.S. Lewis wrote the Chronicles of Narnia, a story with VERY religious undertones. You have absolutely no fucking clue about what you’re talking about and your ignorance infuriates me!!

“I heard there was a child sacrifice in Harry Potter.”

Really? Where? Further proof this bitch didn’t even read the books!

She went on to say things that because America is the most medicated country  in the world we shouldn’t let kids read about “things that can suck happy thoughts from your mind.” She’s referring to Dementors, which keep in mind, DON’T EXIST and are obvious to kids that they do not exist. And if we were to even take what she said seriously, it’s not like the kid can’t bust a Patronus up in this bitch to cure his depression – cheaper than meds, no?

This is the end of the first disc, and I can say that I’m already highly disappointed in this woman and partially in my roommate for introducing me to her thinking that what this woman said was actually legit and should be listened to. She’s really not.

Stay tuned for the review of the second disc, right now I’m gonna pour myself some wine and watch Death Proof, one of Quentin Tarantino’s sexy works. ❤

happy thanksgiving!

Yes I’m late, with this. Bite me.

I’d like to wish every single one of my readers (and even those who aren’t… I guess) a belated Happy Thanksgiving! I’m sure you all can look through the hell holes that are your lives to find at least one thing/person that you’re thankful for. Me?

I’m thankful for pretty faces. It certainly provides a relief from the eye sores that make up 90% of the population. My pretty face of choice? Tom Felton.


I’m also thankful for my iPod. Without it those 20 mile hikes to class would be an absolute bore. Without it I might not have an excuse not to talk to people. Without it I would have never stayed awake in half of my classes.

ipod touchThank you Apple for getting one thing right.

Last but not least I’m thankful for my beloved friends and readers: You are more of a family to me than my real family ever could be (those bastards). Thank you for at least giving off the impression that you’re desirable in society. ❤

Oh! That reminds me.

The lady from this entry sent me her CD and I finally received it in the mail. I plan on listening to it this weekend, we’ll see how it goes won’t we?

harry potter and the deathly hallows part 1 review

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I

Can I just say one thing?

I actually feel better that it’s in two parts because that means they didn’t skimp on the details from the book! Not to mention the turn out was ridiculous, and most people came dressed as their favorite characters to the movie theater. Luckily I had my Slytherin gear, and my roommate her Ravenclaw scarves!

If you haven’t read the book I highly suggest you do before going to the movies (though who hasn’t read the books these days??? blasphemous!). I’ll try not to give anything away…

I don’t understand how it’s just PG-13 anymore though, seriously? The next one might be rated R! I know it’s based on a children’s book but with blatant murder and racy making out scenes, I’m not so sure I’d bring a 13 year old to this movie!

Aside from that it was an amazing film, and it cut off right at where I thought it would (for those who read the books but didn’t see the movie: right at the grave robbing!).

Ralph Fiennes did an especially good job at playing his role of Lord Voldemort. Apparently in an interview about the movie he said he knew his character was a success by the mere fact that it scared the living day lights out of the children that saw the movie (what adult wasn’t terrified though as well? he’s a professional stalker after all, a murderous one at that!)

Helena Bonham Carter played my favorite character of all, Bellatrix Lestrange, and proved her character to be even more demented than in the past couple of movies where she appeared!

official film still

The famous trio after apparating to safety, still being stalked by death eaters!

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Hermione in her bedroom before wiping her parents’ memories of her with the spell, Obliterate.

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Reading in the cold while Harry takes a break searching for the next Horcrux.


Burying Doby, his role was perfect in this movie.

Deathly Hallows - Snape - Alex aka Lilianetty News

At what I’ve deemed, THE TABLE OF EVIL. Is it bad that during this entire scene I couldn’t stop thinking about how lovely that table and chair set was??

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The Death Eaters coming to the Lovegood household.

Photo from the movie

The twins, Fred and George. So cute no??

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I

Receiving what Dumbledore wanted them to have in his will.


Bill and Fleur at their wedding!

Rupert Grint


Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Helena Bonham Carter (Bellatrix Lestrange)
Can you believe she’s married to Tim Burton? Perfect couple much??

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Cutest couple, Ron and Hermione go through a lot in this movie.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Alex aka Lilianetty

At the very end of the movie, hopefully this photo doesn’t give away too much??

Go see it while it’s still in theatres!! You won’t regret it, promise 🙂


chronicles of okc: dominant white male for sale?

One in five relationships now start through dating websites, says

However there’s one key thing to note: isn’t free. OKC just happens to be free, which means the true creepers lurk here. People who are serious about their love lives are willing to pay for sites like Personally I’m at a point where I’m not willing to pay for anything I can easily get for free.

Note: keep in mind that if I go on a date with you, it’s not necessarily because I’m just hungry and want free food; I might actually start to like you better on a full stomach.

This particular creeper made me laugh in his approach.

Him: You’ve got beautiful eyes.
Me: Baby, I know it.
Him: Are you open to dating dominant white men like me?


I want it to be known that race is never an issue with me (though I do often stereotype and therefore base sexual attraction on assumed penis size, sorry Asia). I’ve dated men of all flavors, but what annoys me is when men try to pull that “hehe I’m dominant” bull shit.

First of all who the fuck do you think you’re dominating? You’re a thirty five year old male nurse flirting pointlessly with a fiery, angry, twenty something year old Black chick – who the fuck do you think is wearing the pants in this situation?

Second of all, the very fact that you felt the need to mention that you’re White gives me the feeling that you’re particularly interested in African American women and therefore makes me suspicious that this attraction comes from some strange fetish associated with slavery. I’m not down for that shit!


Me: You seem to have gotten the wrong impression about me; NO ONE dominates me.
Him: Oh really? I like the confidence. So what do you do for fun? Where do you like to hang out?
Me: I don’t think you get it and I don’t know if coming at women of color and trying to assert your dominance is what gets your dick hard or if it’s worked in the past but I’m putting an end to that right now.  It’s very unattractive, insulting, and foolish and I’d rather end this conversation with you. Better luck next time?

Instead of allowing him to potentially throw racial slurs at me (like I expect him to, this always happens to me for some reason) I decided to do the blocking early.

Lesson – when it comes to personality, I’m the one in leather with the whip; not you.

And don’t you forget it.

harry potter and the deathly hallows – an unusual critic?

First of all I’d like to apologize for not posting as often as I’d like to. Considering I go to a university that revolves around bull shit it’s difficult for me to pimp slap everyone in the department and still have my hands free for blogging.

Second of all I hope you all pre-ordered your tickets to go see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows wherever you might be. The theatres around me are all sold out, it’s at a point where they’re cancelling other movies that night to make room for more showings of this movie. For those of us that grew up with the books it’s a very big deal.

(Call me nerdy if you like, you’re just mad you didn’t get your acceptance letter into Hogwarts, bitch. )

In all of the excitement people have been dressing up as their favorite characters and rereading the seven books leading up to this movie. I know they split of the movie between two parts because they know that people will pay to see each part individually and they therefore get more money that way;  honestly I’d sit there for however long it took to see the whole thing if it was just one giant movie!

However where there’s joy there’s that one person bent on ruining the fun in hopes of “educating” you about what’s “actually going on.”

My roommate introduced me to this woman who she’s heard speak a couple of times named Carol Kornacky (heard of her? apparently she’s famous but I’ve never heard of her before this??). From the conversation I know little, and yet just enough, about this woman to question whether or not anyone should be listening to this person.

Apparently earlier in her life she practiced witchcraft to cope with her highly dysfunctional/alcoholic family. [Psychology alert – the abuse she must have suffered could have led to various types of psychological disorders, I already see potential influence/bias]. Because of her suffering from her demons (that she summoned mind you) she, through the influence of a friend, went to church and soon found her way to Christ.

When it comes to Harry Potter she’s dedicated an entire CD to her feelings about it. During the filming of the latest movie, she “felt concern for the safety of the actors/actresses because of the direction they were given to pronounce all their lines and spells correctly.” She questioned why a scene director would encourage them to say the words perfectly unless the scene director felt like these words had merit to them when it comes to performing actual witchcraft.

Uhh, movie quality????
Does she realize how many nerds the director would have to face if they got anything wrong???

I have to admit that when I was told this that I was upset both at her and my friend that tried to convince me that her reasoning was at all logical. To me this sounds like just another case of “crazy, religious nut job bent on destroying literature out of fear.”

There’s a ton of assumptions that she had to have made in order to feel concern. Firstly she’s assuming that the “spells” from the Harry Potter books have some power behind them. If you’ve ever read the books and have any knowledge of Latin whatsoever, you’ll see that the “spells” are really just some base Latin translations with some sparkles added to it.

And as a former witch you’d think she’d have some idea of what constitutes as a legit spell or not, right??

Secondly in assuming the words indeed do have merit, she’s therefore assuming that J.K. Rowling is a witch. There’s no way Rowling could have come up with all those spells that just happen to all be real by chance, therefore she’d have to be a witch. (fucking stupid).

Thirdly the scene director would have to believe in witchcraft. (anyone else seeing this as highly unlikely and fucking ridiculous?) Not only would they have to believe in it, they would have to want harm to come to the actors. (again, what the fuck??)

This woman absolutely infuriates me. People just can’t let shit go, can they? They just can’t let anyone write/read anything without throwing in their bull shit can they? It’s time you learn the difference between fiction novels aimed towards children and your psychotic neurosis.

But considering I’m still hearing this from a third party I decided to e-mail her. She said that in order to answer all my questions (I asked one question, mind you) she’s gonna send me her CD about it. (she better not charge me for it, damn it, I don’t pay for headaches).

She says it’ll be sent out by this Friday. Until then I’m just going to enjoy the movie and ignore all of the uber religious bull shit that lifeless assholes love spewing in all film makers’ directions.

chronicles of okc: it’s only the beginning

Recently a friend of mine decided to make me an OKC account. If you don’t know what that is, essentially it’s a dating site like every other one with the minor exception that it’s actually legitimately free.

It took some warming up to the idea, but it’s actually pretty interesting. I haven’t met anyone that I would really “date” but I’ve made a couple of interesting friends so I assume it’s not a total waste of time at the moment. But the people that do hit on me tend to either be really shy and intimidated, or total douchebags.

Hence why I’m starting my own Chronicles of OKC to catalog the differing levels of pure douchebaggery.  Maybe this will provide some insight to those that have hit on me (or wish to) into what works for me and what absolutely doesn’t.

I’ll start off this chapter with one of the first people that approached me through OKC. Check this conversation out and let me know what you think. (Keep in mind I’ve had to alter his spelling and grammar to be that of a normal human being who knows English).


Him: Hi there.
Me: How are you?
Him: I’m good. Spent most of my day playing Dr. Phil to my sis who’s havin man trouble. y’all women sure can talk : )


Was I really supposed to think that remark was cute? Charming? Amusing? First of all, I don’t fucking know you. So don’t come the fuck up to me and say essentially “Hi, you’re just like every other woman!” I should have fucked this joker up but he’s hiding safely behind the interwebs.


Me: Really? I find it’s men that seem to have the most to say. Here’s a tip: I wouldn’t start off a conversation with stereotyping my gender. 🙂 Better luck next time.
Him: Stereotyping men right back may not be the best way to lead me to the light there, charm-school. Anyway I just wanted to say “hi.” You kinda look like this girl I used to copy off of back in college ( I know also politically incorrect) but if you don’t want to talk let me know so I can prepare an OKC lawsuit for making our enemy percentage rating* obviously too low.


Dear Reader: You seriously have no idea how long it took to edit that paragraph he wrote from all the poor grammar and numerous spelling errors.

*Enemy percentage rating is calculated from questions you answer on the site and determine how badly your personalities clash. Apparently ours was only 9% so I think their algorithm is busted.

Yes, I am very attracted to guys that cheated their way through college. /sarcasm. Do your own damn work you lazy son of a bitch. And for the record if you compare a female with another female you know and say that’s the reason you’re interested you’re fucking retarded. No female wants to hear that she’s being categorized even further or even comparable to another female. I’m unique just like everyone else (lol). In a woman’s world we are supposed to stand out in your eyes, not blend in with your crowd of college drop outs. I’m not worried about me being the one you copied off of though, you’d never get into this school.


Me: I didn’t need a “charm school” to teach me better than to hit on women by saying they talk a lot. Not attractive. I’m sure the “better luck next time” part was your cue. 🙂
Him: That’s what I get for being one of the few guys that talk to the dark girl trying to show love. Oh well.


What the fuck? This boy is fucking ridiculous! The dark girl? What the fuck does that even mean? Do dark girls get hit on less? I know we as Black women tend to provide hierarchies within ourselves based on skin color and hair type but seriously? Being dark doesn’t make me fucking less adequate or more aggressive or really… more/less anything. In fact it’s fucking irrelevant.

In case you’re wondering, this is a Black guy hitting on me.


Me: My skin color is irrelevant to your failure, and you are not at all a rarity considering you don’t have the sense nor class to know when to simply take your rejection with a grain of salt. If this is how you “show love,” by starting off by “hello, by the way you women are all the same and a burden,” then I’m glad I recognized how incompatible we are this early. 🙂 Peace.

What I really wanted to say was “shut the fuck up, bitch ass knee-grow blowing up my inbox with some dumb ass shieeeeeeeeeeeeeet,” but I had to keep my composure. I can’t bring myself to that level though the ghetto in me does kind of slip out sometimes. 😉

Lesson – never talk to me as if you can classify me. And definitely don’t mistake this lioness for a house kitten…

… or I’ll fuck you up. 🙂

Good night kids, have a great weekend. Oh! And don’t forget to preorder your tickets to see Harry Potter’s new movie!!

sweet, sweet justice

As a woman that enjoys the cock, one of the most annoying things to me are men without any goddamn sense when it comes to relationships. No, this post isn’t a rant about those types of men (or should I say mere boys) but rather an enthusiastic disposition of those rarest of occasions where our dear friend Justice awakens from her tomb and tramples all over the whores of society.

I suppose it’s most important to list the characters in this particular tale. A friend of mine, let’s call her T, is one of those girls that doesn’t get on my damn nerves. When it comes to her relationships she’s logical, has goddamn sense, and doesn’t act like a cock groveling, sperm dumpster. She’s loving, caring, and really knows how to treat her man, whoever the lucky son of a bitch happens to be. But the next potential might not be a son of a bitch after all.

Meet C, the guy who does everything. He’s sweet, attractive, kind, and really knows how to treat the woman in his life. He’s romantic consistently and doesn’t grow tired of doing wonderful things for the girl he loves.

Now let’s meet L, C’s ex girlfriend. The only thing she’s ever been consistent with is cheating on C and telling other people to keep decent girls like T away from C. Why? Because she “loves” him.

Well I say that’s utter bull shit! C deserves much better than to have this sea cow of a cunt not only treat him, a man worthy of praise and therefore a rarity in this world, like utter shit and show depreciation for something most women these days would kill for!!

She also had the nerve to actually message T after shit talking her, saying she wasn’t “good enough” for C. Because this bitch would know anything about that right?? I’m just proud of T for what she said next:

If this is concerning C, I’ve already heard that you want him back and that you’ve told other people to tell me that you love him and so on and so on.

Honestly, I would feel bad and I would back off if I didn’t know what you’ve done to him time and time again. In my experiences, I have definitely learned that loving someone is not cheating on them time and time again.

So, honestly, if you do love him, which I doubt, you’ll back off and let him be happy.

And another thing since I can see you writing your petty little statuses and telling people to tell me to leave him alone.

I don’t deserve him? Bitch maybe if you could learn to fuck one person at a time instead of running between guys, you’d have him there with you, but you know what every time he gave your ass a chance, you cheated on him. I don’t deserve him? Bitch please. I know how to stand faithfully by my man and make him feel appreciated.

Grow the fuck up and learn to deal with the consequences of your actions. You made your decisions. Now deal with them. That’s what being an adult is.

Apparently this girl then proceeded to burst into tears. She later apologized to T for… well being a stupid bitch. She kept trying to convince T that she really loves C but she clearly doesn’t know shit about love.

I’m just happy that C was smart enough to dump her ass because she didn’t deserve him and for that I give him mad props. We need more men like this in the world for all women and gay men to have!